Self-Taught Lessons

Self-generated stess...I'm the master of it. I create enormous to-do lists, set unreasonable goals, expect entirely too much of myself, annnnnd I procrastinate. This is a terrible combination that can lead to nothing other than nearly-constant verbal abuse of self. That's not the simple, or happy, way to live at all!

After recently creating a stupidly stressful day for myself, I got to pondering how I could handle things differently. I have several responsibilities that I (mostly) choose to attend to, but the way I attend to them may not be the best. For example, letting paperwork from Dragon Knits pile up until I have to spend an entire evening straightening it out. Probably not the best plan. So, I'm going to experiment with doing things differently. Because that's what I'm doing, right? Experimenting with life. :)

This is my plan, which is a bit counter-intuitive to simplicity in my mind. A little more structure. Yes. Structure. For example, paperwork for Dragon Knits should be dealt with once a week, not every three months, so I'm actually scheduling a day each week to tend to paperwork. It's on my calendar and everything (that means it's for serious). No more spending entire evenings drowning in receipts and documents for me when it can be taken care of in a few minutes once per week. When you think about it, very few large projects need to be completed in one sitting. From now on my policy is this: unless it's going to land me in jail or dead if I don't complete it immediately, I will break it into small pieces and tackle it one piece at a time. I'm hoping this will help with the procrastination problem, since most of that is generated by being overwhelmed by large projects in the first place.

Part two of the plan: stop creating so many projects for myself in the first place. Half of the items on my to-do list at any time are self-imposed and not necessary. I even stress about going too long without typing something out here. But, really, does it matter? Does it fall under the "imprisonment or death are the consequences" category? Not even close. From now on the tasks I bring down on myself will be more carefully evaluated. If they're not for the greater good of simplicity and happiness in my life, my new strategy is to keep them from ever hitting the to-do list in the first place.

I'll let you know how it goes.

How do you avoid getting overwhelmed by projects and obligations?

They Will Eat Your Brains!

Magazines! I am guilty of falling prey to magazines. I flip through them to read this or that article, trying desperately to ignore the ever-present advertisements telling me that I'm not pretty, young, thin or stylish enough. I even (drum roll) subscribe to one of them. Or, I should say, I did subscribe to one of them, because I have decided to have a magazine-free life from now on. I temporarily deluded myself about the magazine I subscribed to in a couple of ways. I told myself it was different from other women's magazines...it wasn't all about fashion and celebrity gossip. But in some crucial ways, it is exactly like other women's magazines. Particularly in regards to those ads I mentioned up there. The ones that constantly tell me there's something wrong with the way I currently am....that I should be on the constant look out for opportunities to spend money on improving my appearance and style. To that I say a great big phbbbbbbbbbbtht! To put that into actual words, I reject that mentality, and I feel mentally healthier for it. I also fell into the I-will-want-to-look-at-this-article-again-someday trap. And that's the one that leads to clutter. Gasp. Shudder. Not to mention, I never actually go back to those articles. So, to avoid mental and physical clutter, I am banning magazines from my life. No more subscriptions and no more stacks of clutter - they're all heading straight for the recycling bin.

Timeless

A few weeks ago, we made the bold decision to do away with our cable. So far, we haven't missed it even a little bit....except for one tiny detail. The cable box was the only clock in the living room. We no longer have any idea what time it is. The first few days, this seemed like kind of a nuisance. How can we exist if we don't know exactly where we fall in the space-time continuum?!?!? But then I started to notice something...looking at our behavior (you know, in the same way that some people study gorillas and whatnot), I noted some changes. We've started doing strange things. Things like eating dinner when we're hungry instead of when the clock tells us we should. Imagine! We're also letting sleepy feelings tell us when to go to bed - sometimes much earlier, sometimes much later than we're used to. No more dinnertime. No more bedtime. This seems to be a much simpler (and less stressful) way to do things. So, go throw your clocks away and let me know how it goes! ;)

Strip Tease

My family spent yesterday evening absorbed in the oh-so-exciting activity of organizing DVDs. My step-daughter went through every single one of her movies and put them in their cases. My husband and I did the same. Then we went through all of them with the keep, donate, trash method. About half of our DVDs went in the donate pile which automatically freed up about a gazillion cubic feet of space in our living room. Then we decided to get rid of all of those DVD cases for the DVDs we're keeping. Yep. That's right. Our DVDs were naked. Exposed. Shivering in nudity. Well, we couldn't leave them in quite that sad of a state, so we put them in those nifty CD storage cases in an organized fashion.

We also cleaned out our Xbox games and traded in all of the games we no longer play for credit at the used game store. (Magical how that place works!)

Now that our games and movies have been cleaned out and organized, the whole entertainment portion of our living room is much simpler to use and clutter-free. :D

Empty Pockets (Part 3)

Upon close analysis of money spent by my husband and myself (okay, it was really more like scrolling through our online statement while muttering and scratching my head), we had to face the ugly, horrifying truth. We spend entirely too much money on eating at restaurants. We can be a rather lazy lot, and tend to do a lot of dining out instead of cooking. Our ongoing love affair with absolutely health-destroying food has not helped. No more! We have made a solemn vow to only dine out two days per week. This may seem like still quite a lot to some people, but for us, it is a monumental step. To aid in sticking to this goal, we've picked two days of the week for dining out. If we don't go out on those days, we just miss out. Just tonight we opted to skip dining out. We had leftovers and we were quite snuggy at home, so we ditched the plan to go out. That doesn't mean we'll make up for it tomorrow. Nope. No more going out until Tuesday. That's just the way we roll now. I sense the waves of confusion flooding my way about our choice of Tuesdays for dining out, but we actually had reasons. Good ones! Many restaurants have specials (kids eat free, two tacos for the price of one, etc.) on Tuesdays and dining establishments tend to not be packed on Tuesday nights. See? We thought this through. ;)

So, what are we hoping to achieve here? Well, obviously spending considerably less money on food, but we're hoping for other fringe benefits - things like eating healthier foods, cooking together, and actually using and enjoying that kitchen that I spent so long cleaning and simplifying.

Two Birds

With the time to return to work for the new school year fast approaching, I've been pondering the further simplification of my wardrobe. I've read in several places that life becomes easier if you have a sort of "uniform" for yourself, and I think this is the route I'm going to take. I've recently learned to sew (a very useful thing, that), so I'm planning to pick up some fabrics I like and make several versions of a skirt that I'm fond of. I already have a nice supply of shirts that are work-appropriate - mostly plain black, cotton shirts that make me happy. I've also already reduced my wardrobe to black, white, and grey - this way everything always matches and I don't feel the need for lots of shoes and purses. Voila! A work uniform has been created. Throw in some tights and a coat, and I'm good through the winter months, too! No more stressing about what to wear to work.

So, how is this killing two birds with one stone (or feeding two birds with one seed for you non-violent types)? By making my own skirts, I don't have to go through the icky drudgery of shopping for things that fit. :)

Let's Talk About Underpants, Shall We?

Yep, today's simplicity project was a panty raid of sorts. I tackled the underwear drawer with thoughts of what I actually use and need in there. Turns out that "not much" is the response to that. Since I have vowed to be honest in this telling of simplicity, I will admit that I got rid of fourteen bras. Fourteen! Who needs that??? Never fear, I kept some. ;) Needless to say, I got rid of an equally insane amount of underpants. Apparently I need to join Lingerie Buyers Anonymous or something. Geez.

I've also decided to make the bold move of getting rid of any clothes that require "special" undergarments. No more Spanx or adhesive bras for me! Another admission: I did keep the strapless bra because of two dresses I'm not ready to part with. I'll get there, I'll get there.

In other simplification news, we made huge progress in my step-daughter's bedroom today. You can see the entire floor in there! Tomorrow's mission? Clean up the bedside shelves and closet. We have an agreement....if she keeps the room sane through Thanksgiving, she gets new furniture from Ikea. :D

Empty Pockets (Part 2)

So, when last we discussed my empty pockets, I told you that I was going to restrict errand running to one day per week. I also promised that I would answer the question of what I'm going to do when "something" comes up. Well, that's actually pretty easy. "Something" doesn't really pop up out of nowhere very often. People have their birthdays around the same time every year. Holidays are pretty well scheduled. Family traditions tend to stay the same - that's what makes them traditions. So, the fabulously simple answer to "something" coming up is to check a calendar and plan ahead. Tada! Now, of course, things will come up that can't be planned for...cars break down, people get sick, and so on. When those things happen, I'll take care of them. This once a week thing is a guideline - the "powers that be" haven't drawn up any laws about it yet. (I hope not, anyway.)

I've also had to concede that sometimes I will have to go out twice per week. I do own a small business that promises to ship items within three business days of receiving an order. Any way you figure it, this could land me at the post office twice a week. If that's the case, I'll do it with no complaints because that means business is good. ;)

Now for Part 2 of my plan! An allowance. Yes, that's right. My husband and I are giving ourselves cash allowances each week. That's the money for goofy day-to-day stuff like the dash to a favorite restaurant with friends from work or my husband's pineapple soda addiction. When the cash is gone, we will have to politely decline lunch dates and walk sadly past the pineapple soda machine. This will, hopefully, help to get frivolous spending under control and make us more aware of how much money is flying from our bank account for things we don't need.

Coming Soon: Part 3 of Empty Pockets

Put a Smile on Your Face

I was originally planning to bring you Part 2 of Empty Pockets tonight, but I had another thought that doesn't seem to want to go away, so I'm going with that one. And that thought is: smiles. Yes, I've been thinking about smiles. More specifically, the causes of them.

When reading or listening to advice in many, many areas, you will hear "keep a journal" over and over again. Trying to lose weight? Keep a food journal. Trying to control anger? Keep an anger journal. Trying to get in touch with this, that, or the other part of yourself? Keep a journal. Well, today it occurred to me that if I'm trying to focus on what creates the most happiness in my life, perhaps I should keep a smile journal. What made me smile today? It seems to me that documenting smiles allows you to focus and reflect on what actually makes you happy with the added benefit of getting to smile about the same things all over again. Now, of course, this is about real smiles, not fake smiles or "just to be polite" smiles.

So, here's the "for example" bit:

As I was hugging my husband before he went to work today, I told him that he smelled good. He immediately exclaimed, "That's because I'm made entirely of pickles!" How could a person not smile at that?

My step-daughter is working at cleaning out and simplifying her bedroom. The amount of enthusiasm and zeal she has for separating toys into different bins for keep, Goodwill, and trash is enough to make The Grinch grin. She gets particularly excited about being able to take lots of stuff to donate to other kids. She makes me so proud I could pop!

My husband was reading a book to my step-daughter (at some point I might start using these people's actual names) tonight and they both fell asleep in her room. I stood at the door to her room and just watched them and listened to their little snores. Super-contented smile.

Is there any doubt that my family brings about a great deal of happiness for me? Of course, I was already aware of that, but paying attention to my smiles just for one day certainly reinforced the notion.

So, what did you smile about today? Really....I wanna know. Don't be bashful - leave a comment. :)

Empty Pockets (Part 1)

Our finances are a wreck. In fact, to even say that we have "finances" is kind of comical. Well, I've decided that being in debt, paying late fees, and stressing about bills are some of the most constant complications in life, so I'm devising a plan to simplify and rectify our finances. This is probably the most frustrating move I'm going to make because there is no instant gratification - no huge bags of stuff going to Goodwill, no shiny shelves empty of clutter. Just tedious and constant responsible behavior which, honestly, is not a strong point of mine.

This plan actually has a few steps (so far), but in the name of not turning this into an epic blog post, I'll unleash them one at a time. So, here goes....

Plan for the entire week! Yep. No more trips here and there throughout the week. No dashing out for this or that. Just one round of errand-running per week. I've known me for a while now, so I pretty much know what I go through in a week. All grocery shopping, cash withdrawing, bill paying, gas getting, dog food buying, etc. will get done on one day - not Saturday or Sunday because those are sacred goofing off days. So, how will this save money exactly? No more spending on a whim. (Why, yes, I believe I do need that all-purpose, ultra-gloss, cherry-explosion lip balm/super glue combo!) No wasting gas with extra trips. No more spending on things I haven't thought through. Because that's where our money seems to go - the impulse purchase - the sudden "need" for some ridiculous thing. I hear the panicked cries of, "But what if something comes up?" And, that will be discussed next time. It's all part of the plan.

Kitchen Saga Continued

I must be honest and tell you that I did not complete the simplifying and de-cluttering of my kitchen today. But, the good news is this: I totally de-cluttered and rearranged the items on the counters. Progress was made! Can you imagine having your cutting board and knives in the same place that you normally use them? Outrageous, I know! Apparently my belief in the fun of having to wander back and forth across the kitchen 28 times in order to slice a tomato was false. Who knew?? I am very pleased with the results so far. Tomorrow? The cabinets. Yikes! I promise this blog won't become a never-ending tribute to my kitchen...I just hadn't realized what a very large job it was going to be. To those about to embark on this same mission, I offer this advice: be content with small steps and enjoy each and every victory.

Simple Ain't Easy

A person would think that living a more simplified life would be easy. That may be the case once life actually gets simplified - I don't know yet. But the process of becoming a simple life kind of gal is not an easy one. The vast amount of work involved in going through all of life's clutter is immense. Then you have to actually do something with the insane amount of gadgets, gizmos, knick-knacks, and nonsense.

Well, I am not what you would call a "motivated" person, so sometimes it's difficult to give myself that kick in the rear end that's required to get this job done. It is much easier to let chaos pile up around me while I sit in my comfy chair with some nice knitting and a yummy iced coffee - which is exactly what I did today rather than go through my kitchen as promised.

Honestly, I was beating myself up about this until I read the newest zenhabits post about change, inertia, and failure. I will fail, and that's okey dokey. I failed to clean out the kitchen, but that failure is not permanent. I need to focus on what I'm trying to do here (and why I'm trying to do it) and have a go at it again tomorrow. Some added motivation? I've made a solemn vow of no iced coffee until I've "earned" it by taking a load of stuff to Goodwill. :)

The Kitchen Sink

My next move in the quest for simplicity is going to be getting rid of all of the nonsense in the kitchen. My husband and I got a good start the other day when we cleared out all of the excess cups and dishes, but we want to keep on clearing out. We started with just looking at our kitchen counters and noting the things that never, ever get used. Does it make any sense to have two coffee makers and a bean grinder when all we use anymore is instant coffee from Starbucks? Why, no, no it doesn't. (Side note: Starbucks makes some mighty slurptastic instant coffee.) A waffle iron??? Who are we kidding? We have a wine rack that's had the same six bottles of wine in it for approximately 4.5 billion years. We don't even drink wine. It's just there for company. Well, we've finally decided that these imaginary wine-drinking guests are going to have to do without. Then we looked to the cabinets and drawers where we saw the list of unused items goes on. And on. And on. So, our plan for tomorrow? To make one heck of a trip to Goodwill. We are saying goodbye to the silicon pumpkin-shaped muffin pan, the fancy silver serving tray, the never-used fondue pot, etc. When next we cook dinner, it will be in a kitchen that has what we need and love, not a bunch of hoarded frou-frou stuff that serves no purpose in our lives. And, yes, we're keeping the sink. ;)

What's On?

My husband and I were discussing ways to cut down on our bills (we are both simply awful with money!) when we took a look at our cable bill. It dawned on us that we haven't watched a single thing on TV in months. Now, I don't want to give the false impression that we're the intellectual sort who never sit on the couch with the glazed-eye stare and nearly-drooling state that TVs seem to induce. We do occasionally. But for months, all of our mindless entertainment has come in the form of Netflix instant streaming. This provides two lovely advantages: watching what we choose to watch and not subjecting ourselves to commercials (which are a nuisance at best, brainwashing at worst, in our minds). So, after realizing this, we made the bold move of calling the cable company and telling them that we'll take internet access, hold the basic cable package, thank you. And now we are rid of one more thing that we don't use, and this one has the added benefit of saving us $90 a month. Win-win. :)

Take a Moment

One of my very most favorite things in the world is chocolate. Mmmmmm......chocolate. But it occurred to me recently that you would never know how much I adore chocolate due to the casual, mindless manner I have when consuming it. My nonchalant consumption of chocolate while on the go would indicate that I think it no more important than the randomly-sized, often confusingly squishy lettuce that comes atop a veggie burger. So I made the bold proclamation (to my husband who is contractually bound to listen to my nonsense) that I would stop being a negligent chocolate-eater.

Now I buy a highfalutin bar of dark chocolate and actually saaaaaavor it. Not all in one sitting, mind you....spread the joy over time. Now that I've chosen to be mindful of what I'm doing, I enjoy this simple pleasure so much more. Am I spending more now that I'm going with hoity-toity confections? Nope. I eat much less now that I'm paying attention, so it all balances out.

The moral of the story? How many things are we treating as side notes that are actually very important to us and could bring us simple joy if we would just stop to savor?

What's New, Pussycat?

In my journey for simplicity, I've noticed how much clutter is going on not in my home, but in my brain. I absolutely adore technology, but I think I'm guilty of using it to become over-informed about meaningless things. How much do I really need to know about some celebrity's wedding or a basketball player's career moves? How does this affect my life? Do I need to send a gold-plated, forty-eight speed blender with a personal chef attachment to the couple in question? I sure hope not. I feel like I don't spend enough time with the people that are dear to me, so why am I wasting time finding out about people I don't even know? Well, in this line of thinking, I have made a minor change in my life. Previously, I had a CNN news feed on my google page (which gets checked with embarrassing regularity). Well, CNN pays an awful lot of attention to celebrity news, and tons of meaningless headlines were sucking up my valuable brain waves. No longer! At the suggestion of a friend, I have changed my news feed choices to NPR and Discovery News, and, already, I've noticed a fabulous difference in the quality of information I'm soaking up. Surely, this will lead to more interesting dinner conversation than the latest Britney/Jessica/Lady Gaga/*insert today's celebrity here* debacle.

In other news, the bathroom de-clutter went fantastically well. Not nearly as scary as I had built it up to be. ;)

The "Beauty" of Less

I have another bold move in the works. One of the areas I dread simplifying is the bathroom...the overwhelming amount of bottles, tubes, compacts, torture devices, blah, blah, blah in there, honestly, frighten me. And when you think that I actually tend to buy and use less of this stuff than most women already...well, let's just say, "Zoiks!" But, tomorrow this is going to happen. I'm going to go to my happy place and dive into those piles of so-called beauty products. I don't use the majority of that goop anyway. I have it there "just in case." I've gotten to the point, though, that I just can't imagine which type of emergency requires six kinds of moisturizer. (We've got a dry one! Lotion! STAT!)

So, this is my battle strategy.

1. Get rid of any repeats. Pick the one that works the best. If none of them work (as in most cases) get rid of it all.

2. Get rid of anything I haven't used in two weeks or longer. Let's face it. This stuff is not like a sweater that you're saving for a chilly day. If you don't moisturize, exfoliate, or whatever in two weeks, you're probably the type of person who just doesn't do that type of thing.

3. Of what is left, I'll keep only the items that either make me feel good (you know, that damn-I-feel-like-a-woman sensation) or are essential for good hygiene (soap, toothpaste, and deodorant are good things, in my opinion).

4. This one is very important. Stop buying all of that crap if you don't use it! Be content with happy, healthy, and clean.

I'll let you know how it turns out. :D

Cabinets Running Over

Our cabinets runneth over - with cups, of all things. Well, not anymore because we've made another bold move. My husband and I spent part of this evening going through our dishes. Some might consider this an odd type of quality time, but we really enjoyed ourselves. We gathered up a ton of stuff to donate to Goodwill once we determined that we really didn't need gazillions of coffee mugs, travel mugs, water bottles, plastic cups, etc. We figure that this will not only make our cabinets more pleasant and easier to deal with, but also reduce our kitchen cleaning nightmares. Having fewer glasses and coffee cups means we need to clean the few we have instead of dirtying up more and more when we don't feel like washing dishes.

My husband so enjoyed himself that he kept going and cleaned out part of our food storage cabinet as well. :)

What's for Dinner?

I used to take the willy-nilly approach to grocery shopping, merrily frolicking through the aisles and picking up whatever looked yummy at the moment. Then the merry frolicking would come to an abrupt end when I went to check out and the bill was in the neighborhood of ninety bajillion dollars. And the nuisance of this system continued at home. When one has four jars of unopened salsa and not a single chip to apply salsa to, it's time to evaluate the system.

I've looked at systems suggested by other people and they just never seemed to work for me, so I've created my own. It actually seems to be working! I don't claim that it's a unique or genius system, but it does include those little, bright-colored sticky notes that I love. My husband and I sit down once a week and decide what meals we want for the next seven days. Then I make a list of every ingredient we need and check to make sure we don't already have those things. Of course, the store is the next step - stick to the list. Now come the sticky notes. I've made a "days of the week" chart for meal planning. Next to each day we put a sticky with the meal plan for that day. This way either of us can just check the chart and know what's for dinner. At the end of the week, we put all the sticky notes on the inside flap of the chart to be used again. Tada!

We've been doing this for a few weeks and it is amazing how much simpler grocery shopping and cooking are now. The amount of food we throw out because it has gone bad has been reduced to nothing because we plan for eating anything that will go bad quickly early in the week. It also saves a ton of money, and that should make The Budget Maven happy, too. :)

Quiet Time

Earlier today, my step-daughter and I were having a relaxing afternoon. She was reading a new book from the library and I was knitting away. The only sounds were the subtle clicks of my needles (I use bamboo to cut down on the clickety-clacks) and the occasional giggles of a nine year old girl enjoying a book. No TV or Xbox or chatter - just us reading and knitting. And it occurred to me that I was utterly content...quiet time is definitely being added to my "things I've discovered I truly want" list.