Self-Taught Lessons

Self-generated stess...I'm the master of it. I create enormous to-do lists, set unreasonable goals, expect entirely too much of myself, annnnnd I procrastinate. This is a terrible combination that can lead to nothing other than nearly-constant verbal abuse of self. That's not the simple, or happy, way to live at all!

After recently creating a stupidly stressful day for myself, I got to pondering how I could handle things differently. I have several responsibilities that I (mostly) choose to attend to, but the way I attend to them may not be the best. For example, letting paperwork from Dragon Knits pile up until I have to spend an entire evening straightening it out. Probably not the best plan. So, I'm going to experiment with doing things differently. Because that's what I'm doing, right? Experimenting with life. :)

This is my plan, which is a bit counter-intuitive to simplicity in my mind. A little more structure. Yes. Structure. For example, paperwork for Dragon Knits should be dealt with once a week, not every three months, so I'm actually scheduling a day each week to tend to paperwork. It's on my calendar and everything (that means it's for serious). No more spending entire evenings drowning in receipts and documents for me when it can be taken care of in a few minutes once per week. When you think about it, very few large projects need to be completed in one sitting. From now on my policy is this: unless it's going to land me in jail or dead if I don't complete it immediately, I will break it into small pieces and tackle it one piece at a time. I'm hoping this will help with the procrastination problem, since most of that is generated by being overwhelmed by large projects in the first place.

Part two of the plan: stop creating so many projects for myself in the first place. Half of the items on my to-do list at any time are self-imposed and not necessary. I even stress about going too long without typing something out here. But, really, does it matter? Does it fall under the "imprisonment or death are the consequences" category? Not even close. From now on the tasks I bring down on myself will be more carefully evaluated. If they're not for the greater good of simplicity and happiness in my life, my new strategy is to keep them from ever hitting the to-do list in the first place.

I'll let you know how it goes.

How do you avoid getting overwhelmed by projects and obligations?

They Will Eat Your Brains!

Magazines! I am guilty of falling prey to magazines. I flip through them to read this or that article, trying desperately to ignore the ever-present advertisements telling me that I'm not pretty, young, thin or stylish enough. I even (drum roll) subscribe to one of them. Or, I should say, I did subscribe to one of them, because I have decided to have a magazine-free life from now on. I temporarily deluded myself about the magazine I subscribed to in a couple of ways. I told myself it was different from other women's magazines...it wasn't all about fashion and celebrity gossip. But in some crucial ways, it is exactly like other women's magazines. Particularly in regards to those ads I mentioned up there. The ones that constantly tell me there's something wrong with the way I currently am....that I should be on the constant look out for opportunities to spend money on improving my appearance and style. To that I say a great big phbbbbbbbbbbtht! To put that into actual words, I reject that mentality, and I feel mentally healthier for it. I also fell into the I-will-want-to-look-at-this-article-again-someday trap. And that's the one that leads to clutter. Gasp. Shudder. Not to mention, I never actually go back to those articles. So, to avoid mental and physical clutter, I am banning magazines from my life. No more subscriptions and no more stacks of clutter - they're all heading straight for the recycling bin.

Timeless

A few weeks ago, we made the bold decision to do away with our cable. So far, we haven't missed it even a little bit....except for one tiny detail. The cable box was the only clock in the living room. We no longer have any idea what time it is. The first few days, this seemed like kind of a nuisance. How can we exist if we don't know exactly where we fall in the space-time continuum?!?!? But then I started to notice something...looking at our behavior (you know, in the same way that some people study gorillas and whatnot), I noted some changes. We've started doing strange things. Things like eating dinner when we're hungry instead of when the clock tells us we should. Imagine! We're also letting sleepy feelings tell us when to go to bed - sometimes much earlier, sometimes much later than we're used to. No more dinnertime. No more bedtime. This seems to be a much simpler (and less stressful) way to do things. So, go throw your clocks away and let me know how it goes! ;)

Empty Pockets (Part 3)

Upon close analysis of money spent by my husband and myself (okay, it was really more like scrolling through our online statement while muttering and scratching my head), we had to face the ugly, horrifying truth. We spend entirely too much money on eating at restaurants. We can be a rather lazy lot, and tend to do a lot of dining out instead of cooking. Our ongoing love affair with absolutely health-destroying food has not helped. No more! We have made a solemn vow to only dine out two days per week. This may seem like still quite a lot to some people, but for us, it is a monumental step. To aid in sticking to this goal, we've picked two days of the week for dining out. If we don't go out on those days, we just miss out. Just tonight we opted to skip dining out. We had leftovers and we were quite snuggy at home, so we ditched the plan to go out. That doesn't mean we'll make up for it tomorrow. Nope. No more going out until Tuesday. That's just the way we roll now. I sense the waves of confusion flooding my way about our choice of Tuesdays for dining out, but we actually had reasons. Good ones! Many restaurants have specials (kids eat free, two tacos for the price of one, etc.) on Tuesdays and dining establishments tend to not be packed on Tuesday nights. See? We thought this through. ;)

So, what are we hoping to achieve here? Well, obviously spending considerably less money on food, but we're hoping for other fringe benefits - things like eating healthier foods, cooking together, and actually using and enjoying that kitchen that I spent so long cleaning and simplifying.

Two Birds

With the time to return to work for the new school year fast approaching, I've been pondering the further simplification of my wardrobe. I've read in several places that life becomes easier if you have a sort of "uniform" for yourself, and I think this is the route I'm going to take. I've recently learned to sew (a very useful thing, that), so I'm planning to pick up some fabrics I like and make several versions of a skirt that I'm fond of. I already have a nice supply of shirts that are work-appropriate - mostly plain black, cotton shirts that make me happy. I've also already reduced my wardrobe to black, white, and grey - this way everything always matches and I don't feel the need for lots of shoes and purses. Voila! A work uniform has been created. Throw in some tights and a coat, and I'm good through the winter months, too! No more stressing about what to wear to work.

So, how is this killing two birds with one stone (or feeding two birds with one seed for you non-violent types)? By making my own skirts, I don't have to go through the icky drudgery of shopping for things that fit. :)

Let's Talk About Underpants, Shall We?

Yep, today's simplicity project was a panty raid of sorts. I tackled the underwear drawer with thoughts of what I actually use and need in there. Turns out that "not much" is the response to that. Since I have vowed to be honest in this telling of simplicity, I will admit that I got rid of fourteen bras. Fourteen! Who needs that??? Never fear, I kept some. ;) Needless to say, I got rid of an equally insane amount of underpants. Apparently I need to join Lingerie Buyers Anonymous or something. Geez.

I've also decided to make the bold move of getting rid of any clothes that require "special" undergarments. No more Spanx or adhesive bras for me! Another admission: I did keep the strapless bra because of two dresses I'm not ready to part with. I'll get there, I'll get there.

In other simplification news, we made huge progress in my step-daughter's bedroom today. You can see the entire floor in there! Tomorrow's mission? Clean up the bedside shelves and closet. We have an agreement....if she keeps the room sane through Thanksgiving, she gets new furniture from Ikea. :D

Empty Pockets (Part 2)

So, when last we discussed my empty pockets, I told you that I was going to restrict errand running to one day per week. I also promised that I would answer the question of what I'm going to do when "something" comes up. Well, that's actually pretty easy. "Something" doesn't really pop up out of nowhere very often. People have their birthdays around the same time every year. Holidays are pretty well scheduled. Family traditions tend to stay the same - that's what makes them traditions. So, the fabulously simple answer to "something" coming up is to check a calendar and plan ahead. Tada! Now, of course, things will come up that can't be planned for...cars break down, people get sick, and so on. When those things happen, I'll take care of them. This once a week thing is a guideline - the "powers that be" haven't drawn up any laws about it yet. (I hope not, anyway.)

I've also had to concede that sometimes I will have to go out twice per week. I do own a small business that promises to ship items within three business days of receiving an order. Any way you figure it, this could land me at the post office twice a week. If that's the case, I'll do it with no complaints because that means business is good. ;)

Now for Part 2 of my plan! An allowance. Yes, that's right. My husband and I are giving ourselves cash allowances each week. That's the money for goofy day-to-day stuff like the dash to a favorite restaurant with friends from work or my husband's pineapple soda addiction. When the cash is gone, we will have to politely decline lunch dates and walk sadly past the pineapple soda machine. This will, hopefully, help to get frivolous spending under control and make us more aware of how much money is flying from our bank account for things we don't need.

Coming Soon: Part 3 of Empty Pockets

Empty Pockets (Part 1)

Our finances are a wreck. In fact, to even say that we have "finances" is kind of comical. Well, I've decided that being in debt, paying late fees, and stressing about bills are some of the most constant complications in life, so I'm devising a plan to simplify and rectify our finances. This is probably the most frustrating move I'm going to make because there is no instant gratification - no huge bags of stuff going to Goodwill, no shiny shelves empty of clutter. Just tedious and constant responsible behavior which, honestly, is not a strong point of mine.

This plan actually has a few steps (so far), but in the name of not turning this into an epic blog post, I'll unleash them one at a time. So, here goes....

Plan for the entire week! Yep. No more trips here and there throughout the week. No dashing out for this or that. Just one round of errand-running per week. I've known me for a while now, so I pretty much know what I go through in a week. All grocery shopping, cash withdrawing, bill paying, gas getting, dog food buying, etc. will get done on one day - not Saturday or Sunday because those are sacred goofing off days. So, how will this save money exactly? No more spending on a whim. (Why, yes, I believe I do need that all-purpose, ultra-gloss, cherry-explosion lip balm/super glue combo!) No wasting gas with extra trips. No more spending on things I haven't thought through. Because that's where our money seems to go - the impulse purchase - the sudden "need" for some ridiculous thing. I hear the panicked cries of, "But what if something comes up?" And, that will be discussed next time. It's all part of the plan.

The Kitchen Sink

My next move in the quest for simplicity is going to be getting rid of all of the nonsense in the kitchen. My husband and I got a good start the other day when we cleared out all of the excess cups and dishes, but we want to keep on clearing out. We started with just looking at our kitchen counters and noting the things that never, ever get used. Does it make any sense to have two coffee makers and a bean grinder when all we use anymore is instant coffee from Starbucks? Why, no, no it doesn't. (Side note: Starbucks makes some mighty slurptastic instant coffee.) A waffle iron??? Who are we kidding? We have a wine rack that's had the same six bottles of wine in it for approximately 4.5 billion years. We don't even drink wine. It's just there for company. Well, we've finally decided that these imaginary wine-drinking guests are going to have to do without. Then we looked to the cabinets and drawers where we saw the list of unused items goes on. And on. And on. So, our plan for tomorrow? To make one heck of a trip to Goodwill. We are saying goodbye to the silicon pumpkin-shaped muffin pan, the fancy silver serving tray, the never-used fondue pot, etc. When next we cook dinner, it will be in a kitchen that has what we need and love, not a bunch of hoarded frou-frou stuff that serves no purpose in our lives. And, yes, we're keeping the sink. ;)

Take a Moment

One of my very most favorite things in the world is chocolate. Mmmmmm......chocolate. But it occurred to me recently that you would never know how much I adore chocolate due to the casual, mindless manner I have when consuming it. My nonchalant consumption of chocolate while on the go would indicate that I think it no more important than the randomly-sized, often confusingly squishy lettuce that comes atop a veggie burger. So I made the bold proclamation (to my husband who is contractually bound to listen to my nonsense) that I would stop being a negligent chocolate-eater.

Now I buy a highfalutin bar of dark chocolate and actually saaaaaavor it. Not all in one sitting, mind you....spread the joy over time. Now that I've chosen to be mindful of what I'm doing, I enjoy this simple pleasure so much more. Am I spending more now that I'm going with hoity-toity confections? Nope. I eat much less now that I'm paying attention, so it all balances out.

The moral of the story? How many things are we treating as side notes that are actually very important to us and could bring us simple joy if we would just stop to savor?

What's for Dinner?

I used to take the willy-nilly approach to grocery shopping, merrily frolicking through the aisles and picking up whatever looked yummy at the moment. Then the merry frolicking would come to an abrupt end when I went to check out and the bill was in the neighborhood of ninety bajillion dollars. And the nuisance of this system continued at home. When one has four jars of unopened salsa and not a single chip to apply salsa to, it's time to evaluate the system.

I've looked at systems suggested by other people and they just never seemed to work for me, so I've created my own. It actually seems to be working! I don't claim that it's a unique or genius system, but it does include those little, bright-colored sticky notes that I love. My husband and I sit down once a week and decide what meals we want for the next seven days. Then I make a list of every ingredient we need and check to make sure we don't already have those things. Of course, the store is the next step - stick to the list. Now come the sticky notes. I've made a "days of the week" chart for meal planning. Next to each day we put a sticky with the meal plan for that day. This way either of us can just check the chart and know what's for dinner. At the end of the week, we put all the sticky notes on the inside flap of the chart to be used again. Tada!

We've been doing this for a few weeks and it is amazing how much simpler grocery shopping and cooking are now. The amount of food we throw out because it has gone bad has been reduced to nothing because we plan for eating anything that will go bad quickly early in the week. It also saves a ton of money, and that should make The Budget Maven happy, too. :)

Taking the Plunge

Sometimes, if not most of the time, life's complications are 100% self-created. This was the case with my recently deceased insanity- and insecurity-driven pool ritual. Few things in the world make me as content and relaxed as floating on my back in the pool and stargazing. (Yep, I'm a night swimmer.) Until a few days ago, though, my pool adventures were complicated by a complex combination of strategies to cover myself. No doubt, I have body issues, but to swim in a bathing suit with baggy shorts and t-shirt is just silly...not to mention uncomfortable. I won't even go into details about the complicated towel, pool bag, and cover-up procedures involved. Really, it was to the point of swimming being more of a chore than anything. And then....

I decided that was just crazy! Okay, I have body issues. Rather than cover them up, I'm choosing to do something about them. You know, the whole eating healthy foods and getting regular exercise bit. I also made a radical decision - to buy a new bathing suit. I took lots of deep breaths, got my resolve in place, and plunged into the store in pursuit of a bathing suit that I could live with. One that I could wear without multiple layers over it. One that I could throw on and just not worry about. I was determined. I had to do that most evil of things to make it happen - try things on. Yick. But it was worth the effort when I found the one I can live with. I realize simplicity is usually the opposite of buying things, but, in this case, the bathing suit was freeing. I was able to donate all of those shorts and baggy shirts, as well as my previous bathing suit, to Goodwill. Now I can throw on my suit, grab a towel, and head to the pool worry-free, sharing my fabulous cleavage with the world. ;)

Moral of this story? Accept who and what you are right now and find the things that will make your life simple and happy.

A Little Help

Earlier today, I decided on a new site for advertising Dragon Knits. To do this, I need to email pictures and logos in a particular size to the site. For me, the process of editing pictures and getting them to the appropriate size ends in hours of wasted effort, computers that are treated less-than-kindly, and language that's just not ladylike. Well, normally, in a move of fiercely stubborn I'll-do-it-myself nonsense, I would begin the photo manipulation even knowing how it would turn out. But, today, I decided to do things a little differently. I asked myself, "What would be the simple thing to do here? What would avoid time-wasting and frustration?" Hmmmm.... I just happen to have a husband who works with computers professionally, so maybe he could help me here. (I know - that took a brain leap of monstrous proportions.) So I asked him for help and he happily agreed. Could it get more simple than that?

Moral of the story? Life is much simpler if you ask for help with the things that are weaknesses for you. It really cuts down on ungracious word choices. ;) You're sure to know someone who can help you out, but be certain to make your own strengths available to others as well.